Above is a picture of my car being RE-possessed
last April 2009. As I watched the driver take away my car, I realized
that he wasn’t taking away my Spirit. So often, we allow material
things to Validate who we are. In a matter of ten months, I lost my
job, my home, & my car. I thought my life was over. How could this
happen to ME? WHY? There I was in my mother’s garage watching the
last Valuable thing I had taken away from me. I knew I couldn’t afford
it anymore, besides, I’m the one who called the financing company to
pick it up because it needed electrical repairs that were VERY costly.
It was the toughest decision that I had to make. I was “on the run”
from the financing company since I lost my home they had no idea where I
was living or if I was working. I could have continued driving the car
but when it broke down on me & a mechanic told me it was going to
cost more than three thousand dollars to fix it, I almost lost my mind.
I cried for days and struggled for weeks to make up my mind whether I
was going to borrow my mother’s extra car (which was the same make and
model of my car but only 10 years older) that had no car payments or
take a chance to fix my car even though, I was months behind on the car
payments. For any sane individual, the decision was easy: just take the
car without car payments. But in my “crazy” mind, I refused to Let It
Go that easily.

One week before I called the financing company, I
was outside with my daughter watching her play on her scooter with
some friends. I was enjoying the lovely Spring weather when I
remembered praying to God three years earlier to take everyTHING and
everyONE who shouldn’t be in my life away so that I can receive the
Blessings he had prepared for me. The car was the LAST thing and here I
was blocking my Blessings.

I always wanted to live an Artistic lifestyle
where I can write all day, spend time with my daughter, and travel the
world sharing my testimony with other mothers. I couldn’t do that with a
full-time job, a mortgage, and a car note. I hadn’t even noticed that I
had written more short stories and was able to start writing my book
during my unemployment than I had ever done before. Holding onto the
car meant I was holding onto everyTHING that it represented: all the
struggles and hardships I endured with owning it. My actions was
telling God that I wasn’t ready for change nor was I ready for the life I
ASKED for. There HE was Blessing me with the Freedom to do whatever I
wanted and there I was going against HIM. I was left with no job and no
major bills and I was STILL complaining.

Since 2006, I’ve been on a journey to heal my
heart, mind, and spirit. I no longer let things or people Validate who I
am. Through it all, I learned that I surrounded myself with people who
were poison to my Soul. I’ve let go of people who I thought loved and
cared for me whether it was family members or longtime friends. In the
process, my health and hair suffered.

Weeks after my car was RE-possessed, Blessings
started to pour in. Since then, I have been given an opportunity to
become a writer’s assistant and looking forward to releasing a book I
co-wrote in the near future. I live a Simple life and I’m finally happy
with who I am.

It’s been almost four years since I began my
journey and I’m still standing. I may not drive the car I want or live
in an expensive home but I’m happy with what I got: the love I get from
my beautiful daughter. I am determined to live an extraordinary,
simple, humble life that I’ve been praying for (heck, I’ve accomplished
the Simple life part.) God has showed me that as long as my mind,
heart, & spirit are open to His Blessings then all things are

I now know that if I can dream it, then I can
live it. I hope to inspire others to do the same. This is why I
started this Blog so that I can document my past struggles in order to
enjoy and appreciate my future successes. They may have RE-possessed my
car but my mind, spirit, & heart are REnewed, REvived, &

Written By: Max-Laine


About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

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