No job. No money. No Problem.

Several years ago, 2008 to be exact, I was laid off from my job.  Two months into my unemployed life, I was in a constant fear that my financial world had ended.  I entered a new place called The World of NO:  NO more eating out at nice restaurants; NO way of paying for my monthly car note for my nice car; NO good credit history with my mortgage company; NO more private schools for my child; there we so many NO’s in my life that I thought about adding NO as my middle name since I don’t have one.

Even though, I was able to collect unemployment benefits and it did cover the amount of bills I had I was still in constant fear that I was never going to recover.  I wanted those “things” back in my life that made me happy.  Boy, that was a lie.  I allowed those things to validate who I wanted my family, friends, and complete strangers to believe I was: A Strong Single Mom who had it ALL together.  Honestly, I was never happy because I was always working and never could enjoy my house, car, or spend enough time with my child.

Now, I look back and realize I was such a fool to myself.  None of those people cared THAT much about those things like I did.  Once they were taken away, it didn’t devalue my relationship with them.  I was still the funny, caring, & driven woman just not with a lot of stuff or “things” to show for.  It’s funny how I watch people chase this fictional “American” dream that has caused millions to lose their jobs, homes, and cars only to leave us more in debt.  One important lesson I learned from a money-hungry associate who once told me that “you’re going to die owing somebody.”  It’s true.  Think about it.  You’ll still owe the power company or You’ll still owe your buddy the ten bucks you borrowed from last week to buy yourself lunch.  Whatever the case, stop for a moment and think about what you are missing in your life that it’s worth going into debt for.  Will debt collectors eventually put a lien on your body parts so that you can satisfy your debt owed to their company when you die?  Before that happens, I’ve already decided to be cremated so HA-HA to all you debt collectors out there!

Today, my daughter and I live a simple & humble life with no mortgage payment & no car note.  We’ve downsized from a two-story, 3 bedroom 2 bath townhouse to a one bedroom apartment.  In addition, I opted to return my 2005 black on black, leather interior SUV to the dealership and traded it for my moms paid for 1998 SUV with NO air conditioning (yes, your prayers are needed).  I don’t and will not complain because I’m sure someone out there who doesn’t have a car would love to have any car in this heat.  It’s a wonderful feeling to go to my mailbox knowing that all there is waiting for me are junk mail and my cell phone bill.  I’m no longer stress out pulling out my hair and breaking into convulsions when I see the mail carrier.  I will always be thankful to my last employer for taking the time to see that my hard work as one of their thousands of employees who had a hand in helping them make millions of dollars a year & be one of the Top 100 Companies in the U.S. wasn’t worth jack.  Thank you for eliminating my position so that all of the executives in my department could continue to receive their monthly bonuses.  Thank you for throwing me into the pool of this cruel world without a life jacket, i.e. 401K, no savings.  Once I decided to let my home go into foreclosure and return my car to the finance company, I realized that I never needed a life jacket because I didn’t know I was always swimming in shallow water.

See, the “American” dream made me believe that if I get into debt I will have it all while those bloodsuckers who owned the note on my loan was getting wealthier off of its interests. (They probably were able to pay off their debt while I was struggling to get out of mines).  Once my home went into foreclosure they made even MORE money because there is an insurance policy on the loan when it goes into foreclosure so when you lose your home, guess what, they make money off of that too. That’s NOT all folks because when they resale your home they get that money too.   These are the same people who claim they want to help you save your home. Yeah, right.

I say all this to say that I still don’t have a job and I don’t have any money but I’m happier now than when I did.  I can appreciate Life more.  As I sit here with my most prized possession, my MAC laptop, I realize that I am rich.  Rich with my passion to write and to pursue my dreams without any worries.  Are You Rich?

Love Yourself!

Written By: Max-Laine

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About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

5 responses to “No job. No money. No Problem.

  • "crazy stepmom"

    Nothing against you, but its not just the bms who suffer. “2nd” families also suffer because of crazy bms. We’ve never been able to afford anything nice. Can’t afford taxes on our home. Can’t afford groceries. Can’t afford bills. Can afford vehicle maintance. All because of hubbys ex gf. Maybe I should write a book.

    • crazybabymamas

      Thank you for reading our Blog and leaving a comment. There is a book called ‘No More Baby Mama Drama’ and it’s from the stepmom/new wife perspective. From what I read I do agree that the “2nd” families suffers only because the parents don’t have a good relationship with each other. Everyone wants to be “right” and point the finger at the other person forgetting that the child is the one suffering. We (and I) have to learn how to get along and this Blog is the first step. I hope someday each parent (including myself) will learn to set aside their differences so that we can raise our children in a more loving environment.

  • Nora

    I was divorced in 2002 and I am still in court trying to get child support, medical costs for OUR sons, and some sort of education payments from my EX (thank God) husband. He also owes me $50,000 in a retirement fund plus $33,000 in a divorce settlement. He owes $17,000 in back child support and $18,000 of child support has gone to a home that foreclosed that he was supposed to be 100% responsible for. He refused to pay so the bank garnished my bank account and took my child support payments for the home until he quit his job and child support stopped.

    Am I rich? Oh hell yes! I have custody of my two sons! My EX hasn’t bothered with them since 2002 so he is the loser here. I’ve started my own blog about this too.

    When I read that you thought you were rich because you have your most prized possession, the mac laptop, and the passion to write and pursue your dreams, I thought that you missed the mark. This is a serious flaw in your thinking. Let me point to what makes you the most rich – YOUR Child! If you have her, you have it all. She is your world and without her you wouldn’t be you. She gives you your passion. She gives you a reason to wake up each day.

    God Bless you and your child.

    • crazybabymamas

      Hey Nora! Thank you for your comment. You’re correct that I am the most rich because of my child. However, this Blog has allowed me to RE-gain my self worth and if you’ve read my other Blog entries you’ll realize that I know my daughter is the most important person in my life. No matter how many entries I post I will never forget my child. This entry reflects who I am without a job or money, in which I thought was what life was about. My Mac laptop & passion to write is a part of my job that I created for myself and it’s all I need to survive (i.e. pay my bills, buy the things my daughter needs, etc). She IS the reason why I started this Blog so that I can be a better NOT bitter mother and to share my story with other moms who may share my experiences. Thanks for sharing your experience & I hope you and your children the best…..
      ~Max-Laine

  • joanna

    It is when we go back to the drawing board in our lives, that we discover a new or a dormant blessing within. Your creativity through your writing is the blessing that was waiting to come out. Fortunately, you took the time to figure it out through life’s changes and that is what makes you Rich!

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