I overheard someone say the other day that, “Love has responsibility.” I thought about it for a second before I realized how the word has lost its strength over time. People use the word loosely. As a parent, I learned how important it is to tell my daughter that I love her as often as possible. I’m responsible for showing her how much I love her. You can’t just say it without showing the person just how deep your love is for them. I can remember my father telling me once he loved me and then gave me hundreds of dollars to go shopping rather than spend time with me. It’s no surprise to me that I despise men who flaunt their money around. I tend to think that they don’t have any thing to offer to me other than money. The ones I’ve met couldn’t hold a simple conversation that didn’t involve how much money they had. It just seemed that the guys who didn’t have much money were more genuine.
I can only go by my personal experience so don’t go leaving a comment about how I’m a fool for not wanting to date someone because they had too much money. I love myself more than any amount of money in this world. If you’ve read my other posts, you already have an idea how I feel about money.
It occurred to me that when a man tells you he loves you, he has the responsibility to show it. I teach my daughter that all the time. A man can’t just say, “I love you” without proving it to you. I don’t want her father just telling her those words and think that’s all he has to do. He’s the first man in her life and it’s his responsibility to teach her how a man is supposed to treat her when she is older. I would hate for her to think that all a man has to do is say it. He has to open the door for her, pay for her meals, and take care of her when she’s sick. It’s my responsibility to teach her that depending on the circumstances that she is there for support when he can’t. Yeah, I’m a little old school and I wish that more parents would teach old traditions and values instead of allowing these kids to go wild. It really starts in the home. I know I’m fighting a battle that’s unbeatable but I have Faith that my daughter will make better decisions than I did when it comes to Love.
Today, my daughter’s father got upset with me because I would not stray away from our agreement that he is to call once a week on Mondays. I feel like the mistakes we made in the past was because there was no order in our relationship and things were never consistent. This time around I’m making sure that we stay consistent. He wanted to have the opportunity to call on another day in case he was unable to call or speak to her. It would have been okay if we agreed to the change. He didn’t like my answer so he hung up the phone in the middle of our conversation. In the past, I would have quickly sent a text or called him right back spewing expletives and a few choice words about his mama. I can admit that I still had some thoughts running in my mind but I wasn’t going to allow him to have the best of me. I had to remind myself that I’m in a better place in my life so I ignored him and still connected our daughter on the phone. After they finished their conversation, he sent me a text saying, “thank you” for making the connection.
I’m not here to prevent him from speaking to our daughter even when I’m upset with him. Like I’ve said before, “I will not help you look bad when you can do a better job all by yourself.” Besides that, I was slightly pleased with his actions tonight. I don’t ever think we will be the best of friends (nor do I care to be) but the Love I have for our daughter makes me try to have a non-argumentative and drama-free relationship.
That’s why I always end my entries with the phrase Love Yourself because for so long I didn’t love myself. I’m so in love with who I have become and I’m grateful that I avoided dating and jumping into another relationship. I know I would have been in the same dead-end relationship I was in with my daughter’s father.
Are you ready for Love?
Written by: Max-Laine