This post is dedicated to the empty bottle (not pictured) of jelly that finished last week. I didn’t realize that we were out of jelly until one morning when I prepared lunch for my daughter. I had my heart set out to make her that sandwich considering it is so hard to send her to school with a different lunch everyday. If I had my way, I would prepare her a healthy meal every time. It doesn’t make sense that eating healthy could be so expensive.
I ended up making a turkey sandwich…again! This brings me to the main point for this post. It all boiled down to Needs & Wants. I know my daughter NEEDS to eat healthy instead of that processed food they call lunch at her school. However, I WANT to buy groceries specifically for her lunches but can’t since we’re on a very strict budget. We all WANT the best for our kids but their NEEDS always wins.
I went to the grocery store with the plan of buying another bottle of jelly. Of course, when I got there I saw other things we NEEDed. Welcome to a Single Mom’s World where stretching dollars is “the business.”
What deadbeats don’t understand is that we ALWAYS have to stretch money we don’t have. It’s a constant battle to keep up with the things our children NEEDS. We know if we buy a pair of shoes that there’s a possibility that they may grow out of it in a couple of months. If they do then it’s hard to ask the deadbeat for help on the “extra” stuff that comes along. For instance, my daughter asked me for $20 to buy school pictures. She rarely asks me for anything because she knows money is extremely tight. Well, I know that she will NEED another pair of shoes soon because she only has one pair for now. I had to tell her that I couldn’t buy them.
Sometimes I wonder what she’s thinking in situations like this. She speaks to her dad on the phone but for some reason she doesn’t ask him for anything. I encourage her to ask him for the things she WANTS so that she knows it’s okay to do so. I can’t expect her to ask if I can’t do it myself. It’s a sensitive subject and I don’t want to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. Besides, I don’t know if I’m the one that suppose to ask him for everything she NEEDS and WANTS. It could be an easy question to answer but I’ve never had a good relationship with my father and never asked him for anything. I can’t teach my daughter how to have a good relationship with her father if I never had one with mines.
I’m disappointed that I don’t have a decent relationship with her father to tell him my situation for more support. He thinks it’s all about money with me. I have to admit that it is. I understand why he would think that way. However he is not here physically on the day-to-day to help raise her. It costs when the non-custodial parent isn’t there. Since he is not nearby, I need support to pay after-school care and that costs. If he would try to go out and buy her clothes instead of leaving that responsibility up to me then he would know how much those things cost. I’m sure if he lived nearby he would see why I NEED his help on certain things. He can only take my word for it and that isn’t worth anything to him.
To play it safe, I will use what I got so her father and I don’t get into an argument. It isn’t necessary to ask him for anything when I already know what he will say and do. I guess the old saying applies, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Written by: Max-Laine