UN-Happy Holidays

Nothing sucks more than a parent that doesn’t reach out to their child for the Holidays.  Every year I don’t look forward to the Holidays for the simple fact that I’m expecting for my child to be disappointed by her father.  I’ve been guilty to buy extra gifts to make up for his lack of participation during this time of year.  I’m secretly hurt and ashamed that he doesn’t step up more during the Holidays.  He figures if he pays his child support then I can use that money to buy her gifts and is not concerned with other things that we need since I am not working.

Two years ago we were in our hometown for the Memorial weekend and he gave her gifts from his family that were still wrapped in Christmas paper.  Yes, he gave her Christmas presents during the Summer even though he could have easily asked for our mailing address to send them to her….say….oh…..for CHRISTMAS!!

I think it’s important for us to continue family traditions so that she has something to look forward to.  She reminded me the other day that we should buy a tree for the Holidays.  We use to go and pick out a real Christmas tree and decorate it together.  For the past two years we haven’t been able to since losing our home to foreclosure and living with other people.  I can only hope that she knows that getting a Christmas tree is not the answer to filling the void for her Father’s presence since we started this tradition with him.  The selfish part of me want to avoid getting a tree and purposely start our own tradition but that wouldn’t solve anything because I can never compete against the love she has for her father.  I just wished he knew that or do I.

Excuse my piss-poor attitude now but I always get into this funk right after Thanksgiving as the shopping season begins.  Like most single moms. we have no time to sit and mope around because our kids look to us to keep it moving whether we’re happy or not.  We have to put on a smile even when we’re hurting inside.

How many other moms are feeling this same way?

Love Yourself!!

Written By: Max-Laine

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About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

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