These past few months have been very challenging for me and there was a moment when I had to kick myself in the butt. Why? Well, I needed a wake up call and even though I’ve been on this 3+ year journey to get my life in order I forgot some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. One of those valuable lessons dealt with Givers vs Takers.
I’ve had a lot of Givers & Takers in my life that have come and gone. What I noticed is that I gave a lot of my time and attention to the Takers. These Takers have taken advantage of my wanting to please everyone but somehow I managed to ignore the Givers. Those Givers gave me opportunities to grow and contributed positive vibes to my spirit. Instead, I grew closer to toxic people who were Takers because I was just as toxic as they were. I was pretending to be someone else and not the TRUE person I am today.
Being young and (what I thought to be) in love with my daughter’s father, I allowed myself to focus more on him and my relationship with him that I ended up losing myself. When you’re in love while you’re young and still trying to learn who you are can be complicated. I allowed him to take a part of me and I’m sure many Mamas know what I’m talking about when it comes to loving your Baby Daddy way too much. For those that don’t know, I’m speaking of the part of me who was very ambitious and sometimes the risk taker.
When you’re in a toxic relationship with someone who loves to be miserable they can take you down with them. I thought my positive attitude would change him but it didn’t. I became angrier with myself and the people around me. Most of the time, I felt uninspired to do anything even though I had a lot of creative ideas brewing inside of me. Sadly, I believed that I wasn’t good enough to make those ideas a reality. My spirit was broken and I didn’t want to continue to live like that.
I have to admit that I didn’t contribute anything to the Taker’s lives either. How could I when I secretly kept the truth that I felt emotionally used and abused by them. The longer they were in my life the harder it was to let them go. Some people are just not meant to be in our lives forever and that’s one hard pill to swallow.
Now I sit alone in my empty circle and I can say that I’m okay with that. For so long I was afraid to be alone and step out on Faith. I guess as you get older it becomes easier to be alone and you have to realize that people can block your Blessings too. Regardless of how I feel about them, I learned from everyone and I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. Most importantly my Spirit has been REnewed & REpaired.
I gotta remember to Give MORE to those who Gave to me!
Written By: Max-Laine