Day 41 (Broken)

(41st day, 324 more days to go) If it ain’t broke fix it and fix it and fix it.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for two days and I hope I get everything I wanted to get out.  The reason is because I go through random thoughts throughout the day and the word broken came to mind.  I can hear a word and it can set me off into a thought process.

A friend and I were discussing a situation about a woman currently in a relationship that no one approves.  She mentioned that the woman was very successful and had great relationships prior to meeting this particular gentlemen.  I use the word gentlemen very loosely in this post.  The conversation turned sour when I learned that the woman was almost 50 years old and experiencing financial hardship because of her relationship with the gentlemen.  She couldn’t understand how the woman got herself in the situation especially when his ex tried to warn her not to get involved with him.

Even though I don’t know this woman personally, I felt connected with her.  I could relate to her when it comes to being used by a boyfriend and being in a relationship that I knew wasn’t the best for me despite everyone’s objections.  I could imagine him telling her that everyone who objects are jealous of their relationship and that women are constantly hitting on him by women who know he’s with her.  This in turn will make her feel secure and happy that she has a wanted man.  When in reality I’m sure she knows what she really has and she’s probably so deep into the relationship that she can’t turn back.  So deep that you stay in the relationship because you don’t want to prove everyone right.

I felt sad for her because she had never experienced being broken.  As you get older you become so experienced that when you’re in a situation no matter what it is you’re supposed to know better.  For instance, drinking and driving, loaning money to family members, or giving up your cookies on the first date expecting a committed relationship.  You should know better to get yourself involved in those situations especially when you’re a grown a** person.  People will consider your age first before anything else when they’re judging you.  You can get a pass for being young and dumb but when you’re old then what’s your excuse.

I would hope that I don’t get myself into another unhealthy relationship.  When you’ve been broken by an unhealthy relationship it’s either going to make you stronger or weak.  I’ve seen too many women who were broken fall into the same situation and other failed relationships.  They have more babies for men who end up leaving them alone as their other children’s fathers did some of whom should have known better.  Like an older women told me, “there’s too many hard dicks out there for a woman to be with a loser.”  What she was saying was there are too many men out there for you to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t contribute anything positive in your life.  The only thing a loser can give you is good sex.  This coming from a woman who knows better and admitted that she was a broken woman until she realized that she didn’t have to be.

I wonder aloud if it’s safe to say that every woman has to experience being broken.  It can either strengthen you or beat you down.  Look at the women you know who have been in bad relationships and finally find a good guy.  Not that many to count but I’m sure if you look at their past relationships they probably learned how to appreciate a good guy.  Let’s just say maybe they know better

Love Yourself!

Written by: Maxx

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About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

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