I was speaking to my mother yesterday and she was telling me that she doesn’t want any obligation at her age. This is coming from a woman who is about to turn 70 years old this year and retired for several years.
For the first time in my life, I’m starting to feel like we actually have a mother-daughter relationship. Both my parents are Haitian so I consider myself to be a Haitian woman even though I was born in the states. So I only know the Haitian culture when it comes to the food and language. I feel like I’m a foreigner in my own country when I speak to my American friends.
I never hugged my mother until I was well into my twenties and it wasn’t until four years ago she told me that she was proud of me. I don’t know why but for some reason Haitian parents have a hard time showing love to their children.
A part of me has the same problem when it comes to showing my daughter love. If my daughter could she would hug me all day without letting me go. There are days where I feel like she hugs me too much. Instead of pushing her away, I take it like a mother should and hug her right back. I tell her that I love her every chance that I get and that I’m proud of her too.
At times I do feel guilty for feeling this way but I am happy that I am conscious of this. I just hope that I don’t over do it in the love department to compensate for the lack of love that I received when I was her age.
Written by: Maxx