Showin’ Some Love

(88th day, 277 more days to go)…

I was speaking to my mother yesterday and she was telling me that she doesn’t want any obligation at her age.  This is coming from a woman who is about to turn 70 years old this year and retired for several years.

For the first time in my life, I’m starting to feel like we actually have a mother-daughter relationship.  Both my parents are Haitian so I consider myself to be a Haitian woman even though I was born in the states.  So I only know the Haitian culture when it comes to the food and language.  I feel like I’m a foreigner in my own country when I speak to my American friends.

I never hugged my mother until I was well into my twenties and it wasn’t until four years ago she told me that she was proud of me.  I don’t know why but for some reason Haitian parents have a hard time showing love to their children.

A part of me has the same problem when it comes to showing my daughter love.  If my daughter could she would hug me all day without letting me go.  There are days where I feel like she hugs me too much.  Instead of pushing her away, I take it like a mother should and hug her right back.  I tell her that I love her every chance that I get and that I’m proud of her too.

At times I do feel guilty for feeling this way but I am happy that I am conscious of this.  I just hope that I don’t over do it in the love department to compensate for the lack of love that I received when I was her age.

Love Yourself!

Written by: Maxx

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About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

3 responses to “Showin’ Some Love

  • autobazar

    Thanks, its usefully for me.

  • bwinwnbwi

    I know the pain, not my pain, but the daughter/mother pain caused by not enough love. Your description fits my wife and my daughter’s relationship to a T!! My daughter is 24 and living out of state, but I am sure, over time, she and her mother will come to an understanding over their differences and perhaps even share the hugs and love that I know they both long for. I also suspect that when my daughter has children of her own she will, as you point out above, try to compensate for the love that has always been there, but rarely demonstrated between Mother/daughter. Thanks for this post.

  • Anonymous

    u r right, its normal to feel that way.Thats the way our parents were brought up and we need to break that cycle. U are doin the right thing, and u could never give yoooooo much love. My daughterpassed away 2 1/2 years ago at the age of ten due to the complication of leukemia. I was in love with her and she was in love with me every chance we had we hugged and told each other that we loved one another. The only regret that I have is not bein able to do and say those words to her anymore
    Well these days the haitian culture is learnin to do these things cause thier grandchildren keep them on their toes bout that, “I love you grandma, I love you grandpa” and they respond..

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