Dear “Crazy” Baby Mama,

(118th day, 247 more days to go) Here’s a question that I received on our Facebook page:

Post by Mama: Hello moms I have a question – my daughter is turning one on Thursday I’ve been a single mom since day one, he is just a deadbeat who lead me to believe he would change. I asked him if he would come to the party, he asked me who is going to be there bcuz he doesn’t want to face my family or friends. What advice can you all give me to get over this and move on? When will I get over it and not care if he comes or not?

Response by “Crazy” Baby Mamas: There’s no right way or wrong way of saying this but considering your child is so young the emotions are still going to run through you. Your body hasn’t shed that emotional baggage you carried for 9 months i.e. the weird cravings, your emotions whether you were happy or sad during your pregnancy, your feelings towards your child’s father, etc. For many of us it wasn’t until our children turned 4 to 6 years old before we were too tired to care anymore. Am I saying this is true for you..NO not at all but that’s the reality for many of us. YOU have to learn to Love Yourself again and once you do then you won’t worry about what he IS or ISN’T doing. One test that I always did for myself was to “Check myself” and that was if I knew or said what he was or wasn’t doing meant that I didn’t have sh** to do. Meaning I didn’t have my own business to take care of i.e. going back to school to get my degree–check, saving money to buy a house–check, I always have something to focus my time and energy on and now if my daughter’s father does or says something stupid I don’t care. BTW, my daughter is 10 but the magic # for me was 6. Look at it this way, your only responsibility was to invite him. Leave the who, what, when, how up to HIM. Besides, I believe that when a person makes themselves look bad DON’T HELP THEM because they do a good job on their own. Hope this helps! For more support, buy our book, Are You A “Crazy” Baby Mama? and visit our Blog where I share my personal stories at:

Love Yourself!

Posted by: Maxx


About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

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