Who would have thought that something I learned in my 11th grade Algebra’s class would become a valuable Life lesson for me today.
You know I constantly write about being on this journey that I began almost five years ago to Let It Go when it comes to the pain and disappointments I’ve endured in my past relationships with my parents, friends, and my Ex. If I’m going to change my life for the better it’s going to take work everyday and it’s not going to happen over night. This might be the hardest post I will ever write because it means admitting that I was wrong.
For so long, I lived in a bubble where I believed that I could be everything to everyone at the same time. Each time I would fall flat on my face and didn’t understand why “everyone” would eventually “shit” on me (get mad at me for something I said or did to them). I slowly found myself avoiding making new friends or associates because I didn’t know why this always happened.
Today as I was eating a bowl of yogurt from my favorite yogurt spot, I really beat myself up to find out why I continued to have fail relationships when it came to having friendships. My relationship with friends have been an improper fraction my entire life and in order to solve it I had to find the common denominator…M-E!!
They say when you consistently go through the same situation with various people then the problem isn’t other people, it’s YOU. I would start every relationship “hot and heavy” then I would fall completely off leaving the person high and dry. It’s because something else started to occupy my time.
For instance, this last incident occurred when I gave this person my undivided attention in the beginning. I just moved into a new area and didn’t know anyone. I wasn’t working so I had a lot of free time on my hands. Since I had a lot of free time, I didn’t have to go out of my way to help this person every time they needed my help. Then activity for my book started to pick up and I became focused on that. I stopped calling and my normal routine of daily “hello” text messages ceased.
For months, I walked around not understanding what crawled up their butt when they snapped in an email about an event I couldn’t attend. This person knew that I was working on this book and it meant dedicating a lot of time to it. However, I did owe them the courtesy to say, “hey, I’m busy. Can’t talk but just thinking about you” and let them know what was going on in my life. It only takes a minute to send a text so there is no excuse.
So YES, Dear Reader if you haven’t realized it yet that we’re all not perfect then you will soon find out that no one is. PERIOD! Thankfully this doesn’t apply to me because I’m not just anybody, I’m Somebody! (LOL)
Life Formula Lesson: I now know that the sum of my actions in my failed relationships was because I was the root of the problem so to move forward I will need to be less than the factor for the negative problems in my relationships whereas I can be the exponential growth and can function from this point on. This my friend, is the only solution in a society where there is inequality and that sometimes me and you are the reflection of it.
Written by: Maxx