Dear “Crazy” Baby Mama

(158th day, 207 more days to go) Here’s a Question posted on our Facebook page:

Mama J.G.:  Ladies. How do u get over the hate towards your baby daddy. Just seeing or talking to him makes me mad and act like a complete bitch to him.. I just hate him for everything he’s done and hasn’t done..I don’t know how to let it go.. just thinking of him makes my blood boil

“Crazy” Baby Mamas’ Response: Hey there! Welcome to our page! Boy do we understand how you feel so much that we wrote a book, “Are You A ‘Crazy’ Baby Mama?” THE BOOKabout our relationship with our children’s fathers. Sounds like your child maybe 5 years old or younger cause we’ve found that the wounds and anger are very fresh when our child is younger. The older they get the more we are able to Let Go & that’s what we are all about. How you’re feeling is normal and you’re not alone. It takes time to Let It Go & for some it’s not going to be over night. It takes time & I know first hand b/c I was all about getting Revenge on my daughter’s father in the beginning until I realized during an argument that it wasn’t healthy for me. I was wasting too much energy on someone who didn’t give a F**k about me anymore but enjoyed that he could get me angry just by showing his face or whenever I saw his number pop up on my phone. Since we couldn’t get along at all, I knew I had to find a way to deal with him without it affecting his relationship with our daughter. One way was to communicate with him as little as possible and one major issue we had been child support. I filed for child support so that if there was any problem I figured he could call his case worker since she’s being paid to listen to his excuses. That left one less argument a week. Then I started taking time for me to Learn to Love myself again. Another fact was that all the anger and me being a bitch towards him was because I didn’t have sh** to do. I didn’t have anything occupying my time so there was a lot of time for me to cuss him out every chance I had. Once I decided to co-author our book and pursue my dreams of becoming a writer, Guess what happened? You guessed it, I wasn’t worried about what he was or wasn’t doing anymore. My energy’s geared towards my passion and when I’m not doing that I took up a hobby in photography. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing when I’m taking pictures but I enjoy just taking them.LOL It leaves me NO time to focus on him and more on ME and our daughter. Part of your anger too is to protect your child from getting hurt by him the way he did you. Don’t worry. Your child will know who is really there for him/her just worry about Y-O-U and everything else will have to fall into place!

Mama J.G.: That made so much sense. Cause all I do is work.. come home.. and be a mother. I do have a lot of free time on my hands besides work since I can’t really go party 24/7 like he does.. and I’m also trying to protect her from him like you said. I guess it’s just hard to realize how a man could not want to even try to be a family.. smh.. I’m definitely going to check out that book. And you were right my daughter is 3 yrs old.

 

 

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About crazybabymamas

Authors of the book, "Are You A 'Crazy' Baby Mama?" which is a handbook for Single Moms. We are single moms who have RE-defined "Crazy" and celebrate ALL moms. If you're "crazy" about your kids then you're probably a "crazy" baby mama. It's about taking something that's negative and turning it into something positive. No more drama for these "Crazy" Baby Mamas. View all posts by crazybabymamas

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