(237th day, 128 more days to go)
How many of us can say that we Hate our child’s father? Or is it that we Hate the things that they do to our children? Sometimes our feelings and actions towards our Baby Daddies can be mistaken as our way of still Loving them or wanting them back in our lives. HA! No one can understand how you can Hate someone you used to love because they Love the same person that you do & that person is your child. We just don’t want their father to hurt them like they did us or the same way your own father hurt you when you were a kid. We just want their father to be THERE without all the drama. BUT the only way to get there is to #LetItGo. Just think of how peaceful your life will be when you can see your child’s father without your blood boiling or your fist clinched because you want to beat the living crap outta of him…Woo-sah, Mamas, Woo-sah. That day is near & all You have to do is T-R-Y to Let. It. Go. (Lydia Rouse picked today’s #TTT’s Song of The Day)
It sucks when you can’t sleep and you know you have to be up early to get your child off to school in a few hours. So here I am writing at this late early hour listening to my daughter’s soft breaths as she has no clue that her mama is online about to talk a little smack about her so-called daddy.
It’s Monday and the day for his once-a-week call to speak to her. Last week he didn’t call at all and there have been a few Mondays that this has happened. He had the nerve to tell me one Monday that he worked all day and when he went home he fell asleep forgetting that he had to call our daughter. “Boo-hoo, Baby Daddy, do you really think I care to hear your sorry ass excuses?” It’s either he’s going to call or not. When he doesn’t call, I sometimes wish he would just go away and never call again. I ONLY say that because I don’t think our child should have to guess whether her father is going to be there for her or not. I don’t have time to hear those pitiful excuses and seeing my daughter disappointed that he didn’t call to chat with her. I just don’t care to hear it because I have other things to worry about like buying school clothes weeks AFTER school has started.
He has managed to pay his child support payment every two weeks for the past few months. I have to give him credit because this is the most consistent he’s been in all the years I’ve known him and that’s about 14 years. Like I’ve said in previous entries, I don’t rely on it because in the past I have and when I REALLY needed it I ended up being disappointed. I was so proud of myself last weekend because with $117 child support I managed to buy four shirts, a pair of jeans, five notebooks, a pack of pencils, a pair of sneakers, a book bag, sharpener, and a pack of ballpoint pens along with a pack of 7 underwears. Who says child support isn’t worth it?
I can talk all the smack in the world about my child support order of $49.50 a week (don’t forget .50 cents goes to the state for processing fee) but it does come in handy when I get it. Even though he is convinced I get my hair and nails done with it, I make it stretch for what it’s worth. I can’t imagine spending $60,000 a month like musical artist Kelis who is rapper Nas’ son’s mother and ex-wife. I remember reading that she filed a complaint because he was behind one month. Heck if you are complaining that he is 30 days late for a $60,000 child support/alimony payment then I must be really trippin’ (so unlike me to use improper English…LOL) with my $198 a month. If anyone knows Kelis, please let her know that I can help her budget that money for her. I’d be happy if I can get 1% of her child support order now. I do believe it’s those types of enormous child support orders that we hear in the media that makes men run away from their responsibilities (it’s NOT a valid reason but there are men who think this way). Like I tell Melanie and other moms, “it is what it is.”
Okay, my eyes are finally getting heavy so before I end up posting gibberish I’ll end this post right here. I have to say that I really enjoy writing for our Blog and I hope all of you will be so kind and share it with other single moms.
Thanks a bunch!! How long can you live with “nothing?”
Written by: Max-Laine